24 Hours Later

It is now Tuesday evening @ 10:00 pm.  I just got back from the hospital and I am happy to report Janeen is doing great and looks Amazing!  She is in a great deal of pain and drifts in and out of sleep which is what she is  suppose to be doing.  They were going to have her get up and walk to a chair and sit but Dr. Orringer re-thought that plan and told me he wanted to give her some more time.  She is doing so well, she is out of CCU ( she was scheduled to be there for 3 days) and was settled into her private room around 4:00 pm today.  She looks so incredibly beautiful while sleeping, so peaceful and relaxed.  She was able to take a few sips of broth while I was there but water and chap stick are the favorites of the evening.  I simply cannot tell you what her doctor's accomplished in that operating room yesterday.  I took pictures of her tonight so she could see their work and she was blown away. Not only have they saved her life but they are masterfully skilled  physicians. When the surgery finally was over last evening/early today actually, both Plastic Surgeons looked whipped. She had four doctors and at any given time 20 other personnel in the OR. A fantastic team of specialists and they should be so proud of their work.  They obviously love what they do and all were so humble as well as patient and  caring.

I am extremely emotional today.  Thankful does not adaquately describe my my feelings.  I slipped into the chapel while Janeen was sleeping tonight and cried my eyes out.  The little chapal was so comforting and I was alone with God Almighty.  It was the place I was longing to visit yesterday but I didn't want to leave the waiting room and miss my updates during the surgery.

Thank you Darren for staying with your sister today so I could get a little shut eye.  I had been going on 2 hrs. sleep in 48 hrs.  Your presence yesterday was so nice and I loved spending those long hours with you.  Janeen kicked me out of the hospital tonight, she said I looked tired and she wanted me to go to the hotel.  No arguement from me and that is where I am now writing this post.

Thank you Grandmoe and Bobo for taking such good care of Jack.  When I told Janeen you were following her directions as instructed she said, " I don't even care I hurt to much to worry about it". I hope you are enjoying him and he is being a good little boy.

I'm signing off, sleep is calling me...........Barb

She Did It!!!!

The OR  just called,it is 11:15 pm, they are applying the  dressings and she will proceed to recovery.  I can't believe today.  So much emotion, ao many prayers and now my girl gets to rest.  I'm crying and I can't see what I'm typing but I'm so happy.  Janeen is now on the road to recovery......I can hardly stand waiting any longer.  I just need to see her and hold her hand.  Janeen's  doctor's are my heroes  and how do you say thank you, not just for their knowledge and surgical skills, but for their caring manner.  I wish you  all could meet this team Janeen had working on her today.  They all have to be  exhausted, God Bless Them All!

What an amazing day. It is a day I will never forget. Thanks to everyone who helped my family get to where we are this very minute.  Loving each other, caring for each other and praying for each other. I love my family with all our dysfunctions and silly squabbles.  We came together as a family and I am so proud of all of us. I don't care how tired I am I have to stay until she wakes up, I promised Janeen and everyone knows a promise is a promise. This  was the  longest 18 1/2 hrs. of my life.

Good Night.......tomorrow is another day.

Barb         

Surgery Update

It is now 4:45 pm and the OR just called and said Janeen was doing fine.  It has now been 8 hrs. and one breast is almost completed.  She has not lost very much blood but they are monitoring her platlets as they were low when they started the surgery.  The report indicated they were on schedule (no complications) and they were about to start the other breast.  They are shooting for a 10:00 pm completion time.  Let's pray that the last leg of this surgery continues to go smoothly.  I can hardly wait to see her.

Her dad went home and Darren and I were watching the football game until some douch changed the channel.  Janeen wants to wake up and know the score....Patriots vs. Dolphins.....remember she is doing Fantasy Football.  Score now is 14 Patriots,7 Dolphins.  She needs the Dolphins to win.

I am beat.  I need a pillow.  My eyes are having a hard time staying open right now. I missed breakfast, then I missed lunch,perhaps I can make it in time for dinner.  Everytime I go to the cafeteria they are cleaning up.  I've met some lovely people today and our conversations have certainly helped the day go faster and kept my mind occupied.  They have all offered to pray for Janeen.  I missed mass at 12:00 pm  as I didn't want to miss the doctor's update.  Mass is every day at noon, I have the rest of the week to go and give thanks and praise.  I really like this hospital and I like my hotel.  Shutter's looks like it just came out of a 1940's movie set.  Very charming.  The big bed there is calling to me but not til I see my little girl.  I lover her more than my luggage!  To be continued..........................................................

Surgery Day

4:00am Sept 12th, Day of Surgery

7:30am, St. Johns Hospital

 



Doctor Jack Straub is practicing his skills on his baby "L".  He is getting ready so he can take care of Mommy when she comes home.

Last night, Dr. Jack practiced his medical skills on L for an hour.  She got her blood pressure taken, shots, ultra sound and temp taken.  Jack then put Band-Aids on L and stayed next to her for an hour.

One More Sleep

Forget your worry....step into Trust and see everything from this moment forward as an answer to your greatest prayer.

Janeen, if you look, you will see how supported you are.  Everything you need is at your fingertips if you look closely enough.

I can not say thank you enough for all the support you all have shown ME through this blog.  I am as ready as I will ever be and anxious to share this blog with Janeen when the moment is right. I'm so happy I decided to do this and I am overwhelmed so many of you have participated and followed us. I will pick it up tomorrow during my long arduous wait at the hospital and hopefully Darren can help me insert some photos.

Off to Santa Monica!  More later...............Ciao, Barb

Two More Sleeps

You must rise to the challenge and meet it with all your strength, strength built from the will to be the best you can be....(Spiritual Truth).

Janeen and I are both handling the final arrangements, squaring away our animals and putting the finishing touches on our homes to accommodate those who will be coming and going during our stay in Santa Monica.  The refrigerators are stocked. some meals already prepared and the pantry is full.  Oh, and the flowers are in place.  I'm so appreciative of everyone who is helping me , I just want my home to look like it does when I'm here.  Both of us are in good spirits also. 

Thank you God for everything and please watch over Leo.
Barb

Three More Sleeps

Janeen and I both are in a good place today.  We both still have lots to do before we take off but our heads are in a good place and that brings a smile to my face.

Something interesting did happen today.  When Janeen got home she had two messages waiting for her from St. John's Hospital.  When she returned the calls she found out they were courtesy calls to inform her that her insurance company had only approved 2 days for hospitalization.  She's suppose to be in ICU for 3 days for crying out loud.  They suggested she call her doctor which she did, and his response was " not to worry and have a nice week end".  So that's what we are going to do.

She sent me a Spiritual Truth that I would like to share:

Look within, be still, free from fear and attachment. know the sweet joy of living.......Buddha

Hope you all have a wonderful week end too!

Four More Sleeps

Today was a pretty good day for both Janeen and me.  We did go our separate ways but when I took over dinner tonight for her and Jack she was in a good mood...of course tonight was the first game for Fantasy Football and she was going nuts.  Apparently, she has a player on each team and didn't know who to hoot and hollar for.  Cole, where were you?/!@.  I was so hoping Fantasy Football would be a good diversion for her and it seems to be working at least for tonight.  Danielle, thank you for inviting her into your league.

I seem to have come to terms with my limitations on getting Janeen's head in the right place for Monday. Once I figured out only she can do that, I turned my focus on me and I slept like a baby last night.  I think I kept giving it all to God and then I grabbed it back. I was doing exactly what I see Janeen doing and I didn't even realize I was doing the same.  All I can controll is me and I feel confident and very strong today.  Maybe it's all those prayer's you all are saying, but today was a good day!

Thank you all for your encouragement and support.......Ciao, Barb

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Darren

Awakening

Last evening around 11:00 PM I just had this feeling to call Janeen.  When she picked up I could tell by her voice she had been crying.  We started talking and the timid voice on the other end turned into sobs. So I started crying because it breaks my heart hearing how scared she is.  She said she thinks I expect her to be all perky and happy and that couldn't be any further from the truth. I can only hear how scared she is so many times and the helplessness I feel is what is devastating me.

I went to the Wellness Institute today for acupuncture.  I went into my little room and when Dr. Weissler walked in and asked how I was doing I broke into tears.  She knows Janeen and she is aware of what is about to happen.  She is opposed to Janeen's decision for surgery by the way, but she was so helpful to me today.  She said that I am trying so hard to help Janeen and instill in her mind my faith that I have depleted the very core of me, and I need to let Janeen come to her own means of coping, and I must come back and put  my focus on me.  So many of you have told me to take care of myself and I thought I was.  I am not afraid for Janeen.  I wish I could have the surgery for her and that is ridiculous but I would if I could. I truly believe she is in the best hands and all will turn out fine.  I realized, in that little acupuncture room I am afraid for me.  I am afraid my legs won't get me from point A to point B.  I'm afraid my back will go out and then I'm up there completely useless and bedridden.  I'm afraid of sleep deprivation and my fybro will flare up and then what do I do?  The needles were placed on my body, the music was turned on and the lights dimmed. The tears just flowed and I fell asleep.  I left that treatment a little wiser than when I went in.  I have figured all of these things out before and God has never let me down.  I want him to be there for her (and He will) but I also need Him for me.  I haven't been practising what I'm preaching to Janeen and that's the big wall that has come between us now.  We're both scared to death for ourselves and I can't recall a time in our lives that this has been the case.  So, if Janeen is unable to pull her big girl pants on I'm pulling mine on right now. I'm going to hang on to His hand starting now.  My troubles are going on a platter and I am handing them over to Him.  I'm going to put a smile on my face even though Janeen is not able to and enjoy tonight, and tomorrow and the next day.  I'm going to be strong and I will take what comes my way one minute at a time.

WOW!! what a day....I am woman hear me roar.  (Remember Helen Reddy?)  I have vented and now good night.

Barb