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Monday, August 8, 2011

Let's Back Up

Good morning!  I have already learned in less than 24 hrs. just how emotional doing this blog is going to be for me.  Telling Janeen's story makes everything so real and I cannot stay stoic as I have tried to do through out this process.  I cried half the night away last evening and I'm blurry eyed today but I'm determined to do this for my daughter.  I titled this post appropriately because I realize there are some of you that I have notified that have no clue as to what is taking place.  In my zealous to get the blog started I come out of the shoot with dates for a 12 hour major surgery and some of you must be going " what?/!@"

Janeen is a first time mom. She is 42 yrs. old and after much planning she was blessed with the most gorgeous little boy Jack.  Jack is now 2yrs. old but when he was 18 mos. Janeen went to a routine doctor's appointment.  It was at that appointment back in October 2010 her doctor noticed in her chart there was a history of breast cancer in her family (on her father's side) and all the women were diagnosed at a young age.  By young I mean 40yrs old or younger.  This is a red flag for any of you out there that are relating to what I just said.  Dr. Wheeler told Janeen to take a simple blood test to see if she was a carrier for the breast cancer gene.  Janeen did this without any awareness of how much her life was going to change and the lives of her family. After several weeks of waiting for the results and while I was vacationing in Hawaii Janeen learned she was in fact a carrier of the BRCA 2 gene.  Janeen will get breast cancer and ovarian cancer in her life time and most likely before she reaches age 45.  Janeen was in the best place in her life she had ever been.  Glowing from motherhood and rejoicing in God's goodness who sent her the perfect little boy for her to love and nuture in to adulthood. BAM!  Hysterically Janeen called me in Hawaii and together we set up a plan.  The day after I got home we would go to Beverly Hills to her primary doctor and educate ourselves on what all this new information meant. Let me state here Janeen DOES NOT have cancer!  She has been tested for pancreatic cancer (this cancer also goes along with the BRCA 2gene), MRI's and Mammogram's for breast cancer and several tests for ovarian cancer.  All NEGATIVE which is a huge blessing but the clock for Janeen is ticking.  So since November 2010 we have been on a quest to learn as much as we can about Janeen's options to act.  I never saw any other option but to do what she has ultimately choosen to have done which was a difficult period as I want to save my baby's life (Janeen).  There was a time when she opted to take her chances and do nothing.  I went balistic and we have never argued more than we have this past year.  Both of us operating from fear and unable to get on the same page. I dreaded every doctor's appointment and hated talking about CANCER every day and the possibility of loosing my daughter to that monster.  Janeen devastated over the possibility of leaving her precious little man.  One day I came home, we got in a huge argument and I said ENOUGH!  We decided to take time to digest all the information we had gathered and to just go and have some fun.  Yes. take a time out and plan some fun activities for the next three months.  I tell you all that was the best decision.  Although that black cloud still loomed over us we were able to plan fun family birthdays, outings to Disneyland, enjoy Uncle D (Darren) and a huge blessing was being able to share Jack with Grandmoe (my sister Suzi) and BoBo(my brother-in-law). Meditation is another blessing and Janeen and I share our favorite daily tune-ups.  The love I feel for my family has never been stronger and our closeness feels so good.  I feel God's presence in my life every minute of every day and I wonder before all this happened where was He?  I feel Him, I talk to Him, I've even yelled at Him, ( so has Janeen) but He has never left my side.  You know how I know that?  I'm
still here functioning, making all the doctor's appointments, putting the time line in place, hiring help for when we come home, I'm still walking, not great but my legs still take me where I need to go. But the best I take Jack almost every day.  He keeps us all laughing and brings joy in to my life daily.  I say a day without Jack is like a day without sunshine! I know " anything is possible with God's help", but this is the first time I have truly felt it day after day after day.

This week is the beginning of all the pre-op appointments.  Four doctors are involved.  Her primary in Beverly Hills, her general surgeon in Santa Monica, her plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills and her Micro- plastic surgeon in Torrance.  So you see the scheduling has not been easy.  I'm still here...more later.

Have a wonderful day every one.



Darren said...

I Love you.

Jessica Drew de Paz said...

I'm thinking of you every single day ~ such a beautiful family full of courage and grace. I know this has been the most stressful of times. I plan to bring dinner when the time is right for all of you.