Mom always said if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all. Well, I'm pretty miserable but here's an update. The pain I felt in September after the mastectomy was the worst I have ever been through. With the this surgery, not so much pain but I am incredibly uncomfortable and I know it's made me nasty to be around. I feel like my body has been used as a punching bag. Mom and I are both rather shocked at the very limited bruising right now but even if her hand grazes me, it kills.
Let me back up a bit....The night before my surgery I wrote that Dr. Orringer was not going to reopen my abdominal scar and that my new nipples would be the size of his thumb (I meant the tip of his thumb) to allow for shrinkage. The morning of my surgery as Dr. O was scribbling all over me, he decided he was going to go after the built up scars tissue. This included my abdomen as well as hardness that had developed around the left pectoral area. With regards to my new nipples, I received another state of the art procedure using pig intestines rather than using an allograft. This procedure has been available for awhile now but the company wants Dr. O to start using it in his reconstructions, so this is what I got.
We started promptly at 8 am with Dr. O and his tech "Lizard" dissecting just about every inch of me as I stand there in my birthday suit. My body looked like a road map. My IV was started and away I went...again having no real memory of that morning. The surgery was 8 hours and when I woke up all I could think of was now I had to get dressed, get into a car and back to the recovery house...no hospital stay this time. I had no idea that I had minimal stitches so everytime I moved or got up, I was drenched in blood and fluid. I was a mess. We all got back to Serenity I think after 5pm. They kept in my IV for hydration until I checked out the following day. I was so aggravated and pissy when we got back. I could feel that I was wet but didn't know why. Again, I was oozing fluid for 24 hours. I was trying to use the bathroom, fluid dripping all down my backside, wheeling around my IV pole and people standing there watching me. I wanted to scream, "get the f- out of here, give me some privacy." Everytime I got up my gown had to get changed and my bed was changed. My Mom would come in and wipe me down with a warm wash cloth. Oh I forgot to add, at this time and currently I'm in a get-up that looks very much like a wet suit. I also have on an industrial strength bra with holes cut out to accommodate the newly designed "donuts" that surround my new nipples so that they do not flatten.
So my surgery included, a right breast reduction to match the left, removal of scar tissue both from my abdomen and chest area, liposuction to flatten out the bulges from the previous reconstruction using my tissue as a transplant, and new nipples. The liopsuction was aggressive in some areas and that's what is so incredibly uncomfortable right now. With my other surgery I could at least get in and out of bed and do some things for myself, but because of the attire I must wear, I am at the mercy of others to help...and by others I mean MOM because there is no way in hell anyone else is going to see me like this. And now we have deja vu. Just like in September, Jack was sick just before I got home last time.....The second night I got home, my mom took Jack back with her to her house as he was sick with a fever and still is under the weather. So I'm here, getting phone call updates. Last night my uncle stayed with Jack so mom could come over and sponge bathe me, clean off all the pen marks, shave my legs, lotion me up and get me back in my wet suit and donut bra. I know she is running ragged right now.
Please keep us all in your thoughts and prayers......Trying to change my attitude but feeling so beat up makes me aggro. Jack is a hand full for mom but I'd rather him be with her than anywhere else, especially being sick. This too shall pass. GOD give me strength right now. I need it!!
Janeen
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