" JOY "

Hi everyone.  Can any one tell me where the last three months went?  I am so overwhelmed with the holidays right around the corner that I stay up til 3:00 and 4:00 am ordering on line so I can catch up.  But I realized an incredible fact just today and that is I am filled with " joy"!  I stopped liking all holidays so many years ago I couldn't even tell you when. Oh sure, I love buying for friends and for people who have helped me through out the year but for the most part all the commercial stuff I have dreaded for so long now. I thought that once the kids grew up it was a natural step to be done with all the fa - la - la - la - la.  I hated Halloween, Thanksgiving was just a farse because in my mind we should be thankful every day and other than the real meaning of Christmas, Christs birth, everything else became just to damn hard. But for some reason, or for many reasons I am excited this year for all the hollidays and I want to shout it to the world. The feeling of joy is so refreshing and makes me feel like a kid again.  Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm still gimping around on the sore foot and I have all the same aches and pains but I am still joyfull.

Janeen doing so well is a huge reason to rejoice, get happy and share that joy with others.  Having such an adorable little boy around all the time ain't to shabby either.  He always makes me laugh.  But what I thought had died in me I discovered today hasn't died at all.  It is still there and I'm excited for Halloween!!! To let go of all the worry and sadness I have lived and seen this year is enough. Seeing Janeen go out with her girfriends the other night ( she looked gorgeous ) filled me with joy.  Baby sitting Jack filled me with joy.  Getting ready for the holidays is filling me with joy.  I am sharing because I want all of you out there to stop and feel the joy of this very moment.  Annette where ever you are tonight look for some joy, it is there. I want to appoint myself your " joy mentor ".  I don't even know what that is but if it makes sense to you then I'm your girl.  Janeen is driving herself around, that makes me joyful. It means she is feling better and moving on like she did before.  I've had more family time lately in the past two months than I have had in 15 yrs, and that makes me joyful.  I could go on and on but I think you get it.  Find the joy in your life right now because if you don't you are missing out on the most important reason for living.  I'm going to nuture this feeling because it just feels so damn good.  I wish I could put how I feel tonight into a box, then tie a huge red bow on the box and then start handing them out to everyone whose path I cross. Please everyone, find your joy!

Good night and love to all.  Barb