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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Two Weeks

So I'm just 2 weeks and a day from this second surgery; some days fly by, others go on forever.  My energy level is still not where I want it to be, but what can I do?  The week I got home as I said before Jack was sick so mom took him to her house.  So perhaps this is TMI, but I was home feeling pretty crappy, then I got my period, then I caught Jack's bug, so needless to say I have been rather bitchy.  As mom says, "is it time for your medication yet?"

This garment I have to wear is uncomfortable, so it feels nice to peel it off once in awhile, but then my body does start to hurt and it feels better to put it all back on.  Jack thinks my boobs currently look "gross." But he helps me out of bed because he says, "mommy has new boobies." and he wants to help me.  It's so sweet.  I just wonder if he's telling the kids at preschool about all this?

I know I'm still swollen and it'll just take time (not my strong suit), but I would be lying if I said the right side doesn't have me still a bit worried.  I'm hoping the black I see is just dry blood at this point.  I know this is graphic but I just feel like they are going to pop off like bottle caps.  There is zero feeling and stitches are everywhere so as much as I'd like to clean them up, I know I don't dare touch.

With the second round of antibiotics, the Z-Pack and the other meds I was on, I'm sure this contributed to my stomach being upset and now whatever bug I was fighting is now a head cold.  The doctor said I could start walking on a treadmill this week.  Oh yeah!  Get right on that!  Not that I'll be training for any marathon, but perhaps it would help.

I see Dr. Orringer again this Friday....perhaps more stitches coming out????  Maybe just making sure my right nipple doesn't fall off.  Just kidding!  Jack and I sat on my bed tonight and he helped me cut out my new "donuts."  I can barely cut a circle, so mine don't look great but I found a pair of those padded inserts from an old sports I place those over the make-shift donuts and now with a shirt on, you cannot tell what's going on underneath.  I feel so much better that it's not so obvious anymore.  Sometimes it's just those little things that make it better.

I've been taking pictures along the way.  I believe this WILL be a distant memory for me someday, so I want this all documented, which is anther reason for the blog as well.  I do go back and read what I have written; what others have's been quite a journey.  I hope to one day have enough distance from this that I can honestly see every single blessing.  I KNOW they are there, but I have these other emotions that seem to creep in and linger.  They take hold and it's difficult to shake off.

BUT, I have my little man that keeps me laughing......
He thought this was a good idea last night..... 
to look like mommy! 

Love, Janeen

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