Happy Birthday

Happy 43rd Birthday to me.  Jack and I got another bug last week so we haven't felt great but tonight we had a lovely dinner with Jack's Nanni and my aunt and uncle.  

Here's a picture of my beautiful flowers.

May 19, 2012: Mommy and Jack

I think my immune system is still down because I seem to be getting sick quite frequently and it's driving me crazy.  Just when I get back to the gym and try strength training, I get another cold or sore throat or whatever is going around.  So, I lie low and start over again when I can.  Some good news is, I think I'm getting some feeling back in my abdominal area, especially around my "new" belly button.  Deep inside I can feel the scar tissue, which are almond size bits and pieces.  I may try acupuncture again or some other therapies to try and smooth it out.  Any quick or swift move still takes my breath away but I am able to carry Jack once again if he wants me to hold him and I have so missed this.

I had decided to take a hiatus from doctor appointments and now we are already mid-May and I have to get back into it.  I meet with my gynecologist next week to get a plan in action.  I also have to schedule my next EUS (Esophageal ultrasound) to check my pancreas.  Happy to report another colonoscopy isn't necessary until next year.  My breast surgeon gave me an 8 week break until the last part of my reconstruction which is the tattoos and it's time, but I'm not in any hurry for this right now.  

I'm 8 months from my first surgery and 3 months from my second.  My body continues to change.  I'm not sure sure how to feel since body image isn't one of my strong suits.  I dress in my old clothes that now hang on me.  I feel rather homely.  Mom called me 'Poor Pitiful Pearl' and gave me some shopping money to go buy some new clothes and stop bitching about it.  I swear I don't even know where to start.  I did finally get two new bras, yeah me!  That was uncomfortable getting measured and all, but it had to be done.  I'm still just so uncomfortable with how I feel and how I look.  It's a process.  I will not let this get me down but nobody can rush me into any of this.  I just have to go at my own pace.  Taurus; we hate change!

So this is my update.....I can't believe we have almost 4000 hits here.  I've met a few more women via twitter that are in my same shoes.  I hope we can continue to support one another and educate each other about this #BRCA2 gene.  When people say that BRCA patients choose to have these surgeries, I ask you, is it really elective surgery if cancer is the alternative?  Surgery is the only cancer prevention we have.  I wish more people could understand this and not be offended by words like, "previvor."  I am a changed woman; we all are.  Bless all my BRCA sisters out there.

Sincerely,  Janeen