Wow, what a Christmas we had this year. Baby Nack was a little under the weather but he rallied and enjoyed himself with family and.....Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus! Yep, Santa showed up at my house Christmas Eve early, the adults had just started eating, so Baby Nack entertained Santa and the Mrs. while we finished our dinner. It really was very funny as we knew they probably didn't understand a thing he said. I don't know how to drop in pictures so I will leave that for Janeen to share, but we took over 400 pictures that night. NO, you don't need to look at all of them but we did get some keepers.
There was so much joy. So many reasons to rejoice and celebrate the birth of Christ. We were on a tight schedule due to mass being at 9:00 p.m. so we let Jack open his gifts from Santa and off to church we went. He was tired and mass started....and after the opening prayer the congregation says " Amen ". The priest goes over to sit down, you could hear a pin drop and Jack yells out, " aMEN". The whole church started laughing and Jack was removed to the children's quiet room. Christmas mass is always my favorite part of Christmas Eve since I was a child, so sitting in church that night my 2011 Christmas Eve was completed and it was a huge accomplishment. All the work gone in to making the house a Christmas wonderland was worth it. Christmas morning we went to Janeen's. Jack was still not feeling very good but again he rallied until finally he said, " mommy, to much". He was done opening presents and I don't blame him. It was way to much, note to self and all family members. Grandmoe, BoBo, Uncle D and myself went our merry ways only to gather once again Christmas night at Darren's house. You guessed it, more gifts to open and again Jack said, " Anni, to much ". All the Christmas pit stops looked amazing and the food delicious but over kill on the gift giving for Baby Nack. Donations will be made this week to children less fortunate.
I wish to thank all of you who remembered us in your own special way and tell you that I love you and wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR! I also ask please continue praying for Janeen. The start of the new year also means to us, another surgery is that much closer. Maybe, if you find a spare moment you'll pray my damn foot will heal so I can take care of Janeen and Jack. I'll keep you posted once the ball is in motion again. Til then, stay healthy, happy and help somebody in need. Great way to start a new year.
Love to all,
Barb
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Merry Almost Christmas
Good Evening Everyone,
I had a lovely dinner tonight with my friends and Jack is spending the night at Anni's house. I ordered Christmas cards this year and got caught in the companies printing and shipping errors....so I intend to get them out as soon as I receive them. Perhaps it'll be by New Year's. But here are the pictures I chose in case you don't get our card.
Me and my baby doing pretty good after a trying few months.
I've been feeling better. I know this situation has been more mentally challenging for me than physically. The return to the gym has been helpful. I am sleeping better. Still not as many hours as I would like but at this point I'll take anything. I was pretty exhausted there for awhile. I know I've been short and snappy with people and I don't mean to be. There's no excuse. I need to check myself. I've been surrounded by constant love and I let my pissy mood get in the way of this. It's just my anxiety is already on high alert. As much as I'd like to change, it's very hard to turn around my reactive behavior in just a few months. Again, I seem to be consumed by what lies ahead.
Last week, my Mom made me two acupuncture appointments and they did seem to help. I got a terrible pain in my left hand then it travelled to my left ribs, then this explosion around my left ovary area. I believe in alternative medicine and I do respond to acupuncture and why I didn't think of it before, I don't know. I actually made an appointment for mom for her feet and she turned around and made my appoinments. We always want to fix each other. Also very interesting, my right forearm for days has been very itchy. I feel like I have an ant crawling on my arm or something is touching me. I told my acupucturist and she said that area correlates to the breast area. Uh, hello. It's better now. Cannot have another treatment until after the holidays, so I'll give it another go after the first of the year.
I know what has me all pissy and that's the other surgeries. I'm NOT ready to turn into an old lady. I'm just 42. I don't want this. I don't want to continue with the partial hysterectomy. Since my next breast surgery will probably be in February, I will go ahead and get another CA-125 and ultrasound around the same time and buy myself a few more months. As long as everything is still OK. The CA-125 can throw off false positives for ovarian cancer but it's the best marker they have right now. I've been able to solely focus on the north of me, I haven't had to think about the south. But this fricking ugly gene I have gives me no choice. Oh, F-U BRCA!
My son continues to ask to see my scars for himself rather than take my word for it that I still have boo-boos. He likes to say, "come here little....(whatever)" so I had taken a shower the other night and we were on my bed. He said, "Mommy all better?" I sort of hem-ha around and he said, "I like to see." So I showed him that all the red lines are my boo-boos and he cannot charge at me like a bull. So he cups his hand and says, "Come here little boobies." I said, "Well they aren't going to come to you." And then he said, "Oh Mommy, they're so cute."
God comes to us in many forms. Maybe it takes a 2 year old to convince me it's going to be alright? My mom has sure been trying. Her love and support is unwaivering. She's around me and continues to support me even when I think she's had enough. She's amazed at my progress and how I look. As for my son, his humor and love definitely keep me laughing. He has been my greatest gift. The joy he brings to everyone is the best present. It's time to sit back and enjoy. Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas!
With Love, Janeen & Jack
I had a lovely dinner tonight with my friends and Jack is spending the night at Anni's house. I ordered Christmas cards this year and got caught in the companies printing and shipping errors....so I intend to get them out as soon as I receive them. Perhaps it'll be by New Year's. But here are the pictures I chose in case you don't get our card.
Me and my baby doing pretty good after a trying few months.
Last week, my Mom made me two acupuncture appointments and they did seem to help. I got a terrible pain in my left hand then it travelled to my left ribs, then this explosion around my left ovary area. I believe in alternative medicine and I do respond to acupuncture and why I didn't think of it before, I don't know. I actually made an appointment for mom for her feet and she turned around and made my appoinments. We always want to fix each other. Also very interesting, my right forearm for days has been very itchy. I feel like I have an ant crawling on my arm or something is touching me. I told my acupucturist and she said that area correlates to the breast area. Uh, hello. It's better now. Cannot have another treatment until after the holidays, so I'll give it another go after the first of the year.
I know what has me all pissy and that's the other surgeries. I'm NOT ready to turn into an old lady. I'm just 42. I don't want this. I don't want to continue with the partial hysterectomy. Since my next breast surgery will probably be in February, I will go ahead and get another CA-125 and ultrasound around the same time and buy myself a few more months. As long as everything is still OK. The CA-125 can throw off false positives for ovarian cancer but it's the best marker they have right now. I've been able to solely focus on the north of me, I haven't had to think about the south. But this fricking ugly gene I have gives me no choice. Oh, F-U BRCA!
My son continues to ask to see my scars for himself rather than take my word for it that I still have boo-boos. He likes to say, "come here little....(whatever)" so I had taken a shower the other night and we were on my bed. He said, "Mommy all better?" I sort of hem-ha around and he said, "I like to see." So I showed him that all the red lines are my boo-boos and he cannot charge at me like a bull. So he cups his hand and says, "Come here little boobies." I said, "Well they aren't going to come to you." And then he said, "Oh Mommy, they're so cute."
God comes to us in many forms. Maybe it takes a 2 year old to convince me it's going to be alright? My mom has sure been trying. Her love and support is unwaivering. She's around me and continues to support me even when I think she's had enough. She's amazed at my progress and how I look. As for my son, his humor and love definitely keep me laughing. He has been my greatest gift. The joy he brings to everyone is the best present. It's time to sit back and enjoy. Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas!
With Love, Janeen & Jack
Friday, December 9, 2011
Hi Again: Here's An Update...
This is a twenty-something me with my girl in Florence.
Remembering my Bellarose today. She passed away 12/9/2006 from cancer when she was 13 years old.
I miss my Bella. We'll always have Italy.
December 9, 2011
I never knew back then how my life would unfold. None of us do really. Some people say that's half the fun. My road travelled thus far has been full of many blessing, set backs, heartache, love and self discovery. I always have considered myself a work in progress.
I've had a few emotional weeks and a lot of sleepless nights, which doesn't help. But I did start back at the gym and I'm hoping it will help my mood and my sleep. I applaud those that can recover and just get on with it. I seem to do OK, then I stummble and I find that I just have to cry when I want to cry. A TV personality has decided to have a bilateral mastectomy to eradicate her cancer and in an article regarding her story someone wrote, "that woman tend to bounce back rather quickly after a mastectomy." Guess I didn't get that memo when I left the hospital.
I can't believe the holidays are here. I thought we were going to have a low-key Christmas but Mom's been decorating her house since Thanksgiving and it's all for a little guy we all know and LOVE. You see awhile ago he just broke out in song. He started with "tinkle-tinkle little star" then "itsy-bitsy-spider" so I started singing Christmas songs to the boy and he hasn't let up. We sing Christmas songs every night. For this, Mom thought that Jack, only two, "gets it" and so he needed a winter wonderland. So if any of you are in the area, stop over to Mom's house and check it out. Jack LOVES it and told his Anni, "Thank you Anni. This is all for me and it's all brand-spankin new." No joke, his words!
At our house I did my standard Charlie Brown tree, which turned out lovely, but my aunt had an 8 foot tree delivered to the house a few days ago. I knew it was coming and I swore Jack didn't need another tree. Wrong again! Anni stayed over Thursday night while I got my hair done (long overdue) and decorated this tree with Jack. When I got home I walked in to see the happiest little boy. The tree is beautiful and Jack couldn't be more excited. Holidays are for children. They really do bring out the best in all of us. You see a child with pure joy on there face.....it's heaven. Thank you Mom for making our houses so beautiful!!!
Jack seeing Anni's house for the first time.
Jack's BIG tree.
Thanks again everyone for continuing to check in with me and my family.
Mom, please rest now and just enjoy all that you have done.
Peace and Love,
Janeen
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