Hello everyone,
I feel like I woke up today and tides had turned a bit in my favor. My energy level still sucks. I'm so tired all the time, but my pain level today is actually better. Mom watched Jack for a bit and I told her that I feel like I have real deep bruises now and the burning isn't as bad. Moving is still difficult but I'm walking a bit straighter and a little faster. yeah me! Jack hit me again in the chest tonight....this makes number 3 or 4 now. My skin still feels thick and fake and it's dry. Lovely. But all this time now...I'm finally seeing some light.
Was able to take a walk with Jack tonight. Didn't want to go to the park because of all the rain, so we walked until he saw that the garbage trucks were still collecting trash. He went nuts. My boy loves trucks; bigger the better. He ran, I hobbled as fast as I could and we waved to the same guy in his truck 3 different times. After that, Jack said, "let's go home."
Exhausting.
I'll be at 4 weeks Monday. My head is swirling with all I'm feeling and everyone's continued concern for me and my family.
And lastly, i want to acknowledge that today is the anniversary of my grandmothers passing; Jeanne Elizabeth Butler Straub. To MY Mom, be well today. I love you.
Janeen
Friday, October 7, 2011
Letter to BRCA
Dear BRCA,
I'm Janeen,a new client of yours. Was just wondering, you've taken my breasts, my nipples; you'll be taking my fallopian tubes and ovaries soon..is this enough for you? I mean with all the other cancers that I am at risk for because of a BRCA2 gene mutation, I think this is enough. I know I've had you all my life but we really just got acquainted almost a year ago. So you got that too, my time. We both know you'll have me for about another year, but then we are done.
Oh I'm not forgetting my many blessings, but can't help that I've been feeling a bit pissed off. Hear me loud and clear, you don't get the right to mess with my future.
I think you have destroyed many people's lives. I also think you wake people up. I get it, I'm awake! And I believe with Gods grace I will soon be done with you. Oh, I know you'll be with me forever, but I will not give you anymore pieces of me. You will not cloud my heart and my mind. You're not worth it. You've caused enough pain, both physical and emotional to me, my family and my friends.
Maybe now I can have a peaceful sleep. Feels good to get that off my chest, no pun intended.
Sincerely,
Me
I'm Janeen,a new client of yours. Was just wondering, you've taken my breasts, my nipples; you'll be taking my fallopian tubes and ovaries soon..is this enough for you? I mean with all the other cancers that I am at risk for because of a BRCA2 gene mutation, I think this is enough. I know I've had you all my life but we really just got acquainted almost a year ago. So you got that too, my time. We both know you'll have me for about another year, but then we are done.
Oh I'm not forgetting my many blessings, but can't help that I've been feeling a bit pissed off. Hear me loud and clear, you don't get the right to mess with my future.
I think you have destroyed many people's lives. I also think you wake people up. I get it, I'm awake! And I believe with Gods grace I will soon be done with you. Oh, I know you'll be with me forever, but I will not give you anymore pieces of me. You will not cloud my heart and my mind. You're not worth it. You've caused enough pain, both physical and emotional to me, my family and my friends.
Maybe now I can have a peaceful sleep. Feels good to get that off my chest, no pun intended.
Sincerely,
Me
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