Happy 43rd Birthday to me. Jack and I got another bug last week so we haven't felt great but tonight we had a lovely dinner with Jack's Nanni and my aunt and uncle.
Here's a picture of my beautiful flowers.
May 19, 2012: Mommy and Jack
I think my immune system is still down because I seem to be getting sick quite frequently and it's driving me crazy. Just when I get back to the gym and try strength training, I get another cold or sore throat or whatever is going around. So, I lie low and start over again when I can. Some good news is, I think I'm getting some feeling back in my abdominal area, especially around my "new" belly button. Deep inside I can feel the scar tissue, which are almond size bits and pieces. I may try acupuncture again or some other therapies to try and smooth it out. Any quick or swift move still takes my breath away but I am able to carry Jack once again if he wants me to hold him and I have so missed this.
I had decided to take a hiatus from doctor appointments and now we are already mid-May and I have to get back into it. I meet with my gynecologist next week to get a plan in action. I also have to schedule my next EUS (Esophageal ultrasound) to check my pancreas. Happy to report another colonoscopy isn't necessary until next year. My breast surgeon gave me an 8 week break until the last part of my reconstruction which is the tattoos and it's time, but I'm not in any hurry for this right now.
I'm 8 months from my first surgery and 3 months from my second. My body continues to change. I'm not sure sure how to feel since body image isn't one of my strong suits. I dress in my old clothes that now hang on me. I feel rather homely. Mom called me 'Poor Pitiful Pearl' and gave me some shopping money to go buy some new clothes and stop bitching about it. I swear I don't even know where to start. I did finally get two new bras, yeah me! That was uncomfortable getting measured and all, but it had to be done. I'm still just so uncomfortable with how I feel and how I look. It's a process. I will not let this get me down but nobody can rush me into any of this. I just have to go at my own pace. Taurus; we hate change!
So this is my update.....I can't believe we have almost 4000 hits here. I've met a few more women via twitter that are in my same shoes. I hope we can continue to support one another and educate each other about this #BRCA2 gene. When people say that BRCA patients choose to have these surgeries, I ask you, is it really elective surgery if cancer is the alternative? Surgery is the only cancer prevention we have. I wish more people could understand this and not be offended by words like, "previvor." I am a changed woman; we all are. Bless all my BRCA sisters out there.
Sincerely, Janeen
