Well, Janeen is busy getting her doctor's appointments completed before her surgery. She needs to see Dr. Orringer for her pre-op and Dr. Cole for a blood draw and then it's a go. She is anxious about this surgery, she just wants it done and she is staying busy which is a good thing. I think her head is in a good place and I will be able to stay with her in her recovery house this time. No running back and forth from hotel to hospital to recovery house. I'm staying put right by her side.
She had Jack call me the last night, only for me to hear I was going to Milwaukee. I said, " I don't want to go to Milwaukee" and I could hear Janeen cracking up in the back ground. She took the phone and said, " no you are going to Maui"! She just booked me a week holiday before her surgery so I leave on Feb. 2nd and return on Feb. 9th. A quick trip but she wants me totally rested so I don't bail on her this time. My foot is better one day then it flares up again. My doctor told me to go to Westminister and go to a nail salon and find someone to rub my foot gently for an hour and try to stay off of it as he cannot laser it anymore for two weeks. I told him I'd rather go to Maui and have my feet rubbed, told Janeen this story and she booked it. So, I'm going ! I will sleep, swim, spa and read all with my foot elavated and oh, yes daily foot massage out by the pool. Sure hope it works cuz I'm going to be really busy when I bring Janeen home. Getting away does sound good but MILWAUKEE, YUCK ! Now Jack wants to go to Maui with me so I promised him we'd all go over for Thanksgiving. He got so excited and he has no idea where or what Maui is. We also might try Ulani ( Disney Property) on Ohau. It is just fun to once again think travel instead of doctors and surgeries. A family trip is long over due.
So this is the latest news, life is good for me and my little family.
Barb
Monday, January 23, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
Surgery #2
The date is set for Janeen's second surgery. That will be February 16, 2011. When I called Dr. Orringer's office I said the week of the 13th is looking good on this end. Ana Marie called late today after securing an operating room, and says " ok girls, it's a go for February 14th ". Janeen freaked and said " no I can't, I want to be here for Jack on Valentine's Day". So, she called the hospital and confirmed the 16th @ 5:00 a.m. JANEEEEEEEEEN!!!!! It's ok, she should be allowed to choose her own surgery date. I will send Ana Marie flowers and thank her for her understanding and patience. This surgery will complete the reconstruction of her new breasts and I am hopeful make Janeen feel better about her appearance. I have not made arrangements for the other accommodations but we will go up to Santa Monica the night before since her surgery is so early the next day. The surgery is expected to be anywhere from 4 to 6 hours and she will transfer to another facility that night and I will be able to stay with her. If all goes well, I can bring her home on the 17th. That's the plan.
Don't you want to hear about me? Well I'm getting ready. I'm in a wellness program where by I get Immune Deficieny drips (vitamins, glutathion (?), all he B's etc.) in an IV Mon., Tues., and Wed leading up tp her surgery. I found a laser that is helping my foot. Yes, I'm still lame and/or limping around going on 6 months. I have only had 2 treatments but I am seeing results FINALLY and I will start up again with that treatment next Tuesday. So I live at the clinic these days because I simply cannot disappear on Janeen again when she comes home. Jack is now in school two mornings a week, swimming one morning, and then his park playtime. I have spoken to a friend who is a caterer and she wants to take care of all meals and she gets no arguement from me. My sister and her husband will hold down things here while Janeen and I are in Santa Monica and get Jack from point A to point B on the proper day. I learned from last time I did not have enough back up plans in place. Who would of thought I would become lame. Let me just say, heel spurs and plantar fascitis really sucks. I've purchased and have been gifted 12 pairs of the ugliest shoes I've ever seen and I wear them. Once in a while one pair will bring me an hour or two of some pain relief. If any of you reading this comes down with my medical problem, please call me, I know where to send you.
I will do my best to keep the blog up dated and any comments I will be able to access for Janeen from my little arsenal of electronics.
In my heart I hold you all very dear, just knowing so many people care is so comforting. My weeks ahead and Janeen's are filled with doctor's appointments. I go to hers, she goes with me to mine. We're like peas and carrots. If you don't hear from us check the blog and just know we love you, we are just very busy coordinating everything. Jack just goes with the flow. I guess you could say we are like peas, carrots & carrot!
Barb
Don't you want to hear about me? Well I'm getting ready. I'm in a wellness program where by I get Immune Deficieny drips (vitamins, glutathion (?), all he B's etc.) in an IV Mon., Tues., and Wed leading up tp her surgery. I found a laser that is helping my foot. Yes, I'm still lame and/or limping around going on 6 months. I have only had 2 treatments but I am seeing results FINALLY and I will start up again with that treatment next Tuesday. So I live at the clinic these days because I simply cannot disappear on Janeen again when she comes home. Jack is now in school two mornings a week, swimming one morning, and then his park playtime. I have spoken to a friend who is a caterer and she wants to take care of all meals and she gets no arguement from me. My sister and her husband will hold down things here while Janeen and I are in Santa Monica and get Jack from point A to point B on the proper day. I learned from last time I did not have enough back up plans in place. Who would of thought I would become lame. Let me just say, heel spurs and plantar fascitis really sucks. I've purchased and have been gifted 12 pairs of the ugliest shoes I've ever seen and I wear them. Once in a while one pair will bring me an hour or two of some pain relief. If any of you reading this comes down with my medical problem, please call me, I know where to send you.
I will do my best to keep the blog up dated and any comments I will be able to access for Janeen from my little arsenal of electronics.
In my heart I hold you all very dear, just knowing so many people care is so comforting. My weeks ahead and Janeen's are filled with doctor's appointments. I go to hers, she goes with me to mine. We're like peas and carrots. If you don't hear from us check the blog and just know we love you, we are just very busy coordinating everything. Jack just goes with the flow. I guess you could say we are like peas, carrots & carrot!
Barb
Monday, January 9, 2012
Happy New Year and A Little Venting
Happy New Year Everyone. As I kick off this new year with my next surgery looming, I have realized that there are still people that don't really get what I have done so far, or why. I get these inquisitive looks like, "why are you having another surgery?" So I'm not going to sugar coat this, but here is some clarification.
NO, I did NOT have cancer. I have a glitch in my DNA, something I was born with and will have until the day I die, called BRCA2. Please know I have done my research and again what I tried to do, as a single mother, was beat cancer to the punch. Do all people with a positive gene mutation for BRCA get cancer? NO. But the percentages are so low, around 5%, I was not willing to take that gamble. I'm sure it's difficult to understand why someone would make the decision to remove two rather healthy breasts. Whether one has a cancer diagnosis or has a 95% chance of getting cancer, the decision to have a bilateral mastectomy is daunting. It's one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made. But a change of diet, or increase in exercise does NOT get rid of this gene. Nor does chemotherapy or radiation. Nothing gets rid of this gene. It's apart of me and also makes me susceptible to other cancers including breast and ovarian.
So I had my healthy breasts removed last September. I do not have implants or expanders. My surgery was so long, over 18 hours, because I chose a DIEP flap for my immediate reconstruction. If you want to know further about this, google it or read the September posts where both me and my mom have tried to explain this procedure. I used my own tissue and blood vessels as a transplant. Another huge decision that I'm sure most do not understand. Especially now in the news with a certain TV personality that chose to have a bilateral mastectomy and her surgery was something like 4 hours. Some have said to me that maybe my surgery was extreme or unwarranted. I will not beat this dead horse. I know what I did and why I did it. I know what my options were and I too had the choice of the shorter surgery, but I chose to have the DIEP flap. The last few months, I have had my surgery compared to others breasts augmentations, tummy tucks, C-Sections, tumors, and scar tissue removal. My medical history includes cosmetic surgery, an appendectomy, C-Section (after carrying around a 10 lb baby), and over 100 skin biopsies, some being basel cells and one melanoma. I know surgery, I know pain and nothing I have had done compares to a mastectomy. I would never tell a person who's had their chest cracked open for heart surgery that I know what it feels like or I know what they went through, so unless you've walked in my shoes, you really have no idea.
For anybody reading this that is looking at a BRCA diagnosis and is scared to death, please know that you can do this. I don't have a husband to carry me in and out of bed or assist me with my seat belt. In fact I was taking care of my son about a week and 1/2 after surgery because I had to. I'm no superwoman and I'm not saying this to get any brownie points from anybody. I'm just here to tell you that it's very possible to save your life and get back to life. I'm not going to lie. It hurts like a motherf-er. The pain in the beginning is almost unbearable. ALMOST. And then with time you move on. The emotional toll is almost more difficult than the physical. It all sucks no matter what! But you too can do it! In the big picture it is about saving your life.
My next surgery is all about "fixing" me and making nipples. I've actually had a few people tell me nipples are over-rated. Like my friend said, "I don't care if I'm 80, I want my nipples." I couldn't agree more. I'm 42 years old. I want breasts and nipples and to resemble what a woman looks like and I don't believe this is superficial at all.
I still have a long year ahead of me. I knew none of this would come easy for me. I knew this change I have talked about was going to take work but I'm a stubborn bull and change does not come easy for me. I can't help but being pissed off and sad and a whole lot of other emotions. I know one day I will look back at this experience and it will be a distant memory, but for now it's real. This is my life, with everything else going on and trust me, there are more days than not that I feel like I have failed in some way. So I take to my self-help books, favorite quotes and prayer.
Some favorites: "The old has to die so that the new growth can come through. You have to let go of what was to awaken anew." (Letting go..still trying).
"You may not be able to see why life has gone the way it has, just listen and the answer will come, when you are ready." (I really want to be ready).
"Someday life will make perfect sense, so laugh through the confusion, smile through the tears and remember everything happens for a reason." (This too shall pass).
"Attitude is vastly important, because it presents your image to the world and is the driving force behind behavior." (When you can't change your situation, change your ATTITUDE).
And last..."The scars of life tell a story of your ability to overcome adversity, knowing this, you know what lies ahead is achievable." (I AM a strong woman).
Happy 2012. May you be happy and HEALTHY,
Janeen
NO, I did NOT have cancer. I have a glitch in my DNA, something I was born with and will have until the day I die, called BRCA2. Please know I have done my research and again what I tried to do, as a single mother, was beat cancer to the punch. Do all people with a positive gene mutation for BRCA get cancer? NO. But the percentages are so low, around 5%, I was not willing to take that gamble. I'm sure it's difficult to understand why someone would make the decision to remove two rather healthy breasts. Whether one has a cancer diagnosis or has a 95% chance of getting cancer, the decision to have a bilateral mastectomy is daunting. It's one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made. But a change of diet, or increase in exercise does NOT get rid of this gene. Nor does chemotherapy or radiation. Nothing gets rid of this gene. It's apart of me and also makes me susceptible to other cancers including breast and ovarian.
So I had my healthy breasts removed last September. I do not have implants or expanders. My surgery was so long, over 18 hours, because I chose a DIEP flap for my immediate reconstruction. If you want to know further about this, google it or read the September posts where both me and my mom have tried to explain this procedure. I used my own tissue and blood vessels as a transplant. Another huge decision that I'm sure most do not understand. Especially now in the news with a certain TV personality that chose to have a bilateral mastectomy and her surgery was something like 4 hours. Some have said to me that maybe my surgery was extreme or unwarranted. I will not beat this dead horse. I know what I did and why I did it. I know what my options were and I too had the choice of the shorter surgery, but I chose to have the DIEP flap. The last few months, I have had my surgery compared to others breasts augmentations, tummy tucks, C-Sections, tumors, and scar tissue removal. My medical history includes cosmetic surgery, an appendectomy, C-Section (after carrying around a 10 lb baby), and over 100 skin biopsies, some being basel cells and one melanoma. I know surgery, I know pain and nothing I have had done compares to a mastectomy. I would never tell a person who's had their chest cracked open for heart surgery that I know what it feels like or I know what they went through, so unless you've walked in my shoes, you really have no idea.
For anybody reading this that is looking at a BRCA diagnosis and is scared to death, please know that you can do this. I don't have a husband to carry me in and out of bed or assist me with my seat belt. In fact I was taking care of my son about a week and 1/2 after surgery because I had to. I'm no superwoman and I'm not saying this to get any brownie points from anybody. I'm just here to tell you that it's very possible to save your life and get back to life. I'm not going to lie. It hurts like a motherf-er. The pain in the beginning is almost unbearable. ALMOST. And then with time you move on. The emotional toll is almost more difficult than the physical. It all sucks no matter what! But you too can do it! In the big picture it is about saving your life.
My next surgery is all about "fixing" me and making nipples. I've actually had a few people tell me nipples are over-rated. Like my friend said, "I don't care if I'm 80, I want my nipples." I couldn't agree more. I'm 42 years old. I want breasts and nipples and to resemble what a woman looks like and I don't believe this is superficial at all.
I still have a long year ahead of me. I knew none of this would come easy for me. I knew this change I have talked about was going to take work but I'm a stubborn bull and change does not come easy for me. I can't help but being pissed off and sad and a whole lot of other emotions. I know one day I will look back at this experience and it will be a distant memory, but for now it's real. This is my life, with everything else going on and trust me, there are more days than not that I feel like I have failed in some way. So I take to my self-help books, favorite quotes and prayer.
Some favorites: "The old has to die so that the new growth can come through. You have to let go of what was to awaken anew." (Letting go..still trying).
"You may not be able to see why life has gone the way it has, just listen and the answer will come, when you are ready." (I really want to be ready).
"Someday life will make perfect sense, so laugh through the confusion, smile through the tears and remember everything happens for a reason." (This too shall pass).
"Attitude is vastly important, because it presents your image to the world and is the driving force behind behavior." (When you can't change your situation, change your ATTITUDE).
And last..."The scars of life tell a story of your ability to overcome adversity, knowing this, you know what lies ahead is achievable." (I AM a strong woman).
Happy 2012. May you be happy and HEALTHY,
Janeen
Friday, January 6, 2012
Christmas Pictures 2011
A few Christmas pictures.
Our dinner table...
Santa came to Anni's house and brought
Jack his very own Escalade.
Jack asked for a car and a guitar.
Here he is with his new guitar.
We had a blessed holiday and Jack, even though he didn't feel well,
had a wonderful Christmas.
Best wishes to you all for 2012.
Love, Barb
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